Sunday, October 28, 2012

Apple Pie Breakfast

Ok people, I have a treat!! And a tasty treat this is.

If you enjoy the taste of....well....nothing, then this delicious recipe is for you!!

I take that back. It has a taste. I will give it that much credit. It tastes like glorified cardboard. Cardboard with a hint of apple and cinnamon. And by a "hint", I mean not enough to save my mouth from the abomination that entered it.

I know that people have all sorts of disabilities but I was unaware that not having taste buds was one of them. The poor lady who came up with this recipe just is missing out on so much yumminess and I am so sad for her.

But I am even more sad that this recipe put a damper on my super excited mood. This made the house smell SO good. Yankee Candle good. It just put you in one of those Martha Stewart, apron wearing, cupcake making, smile having moods even though once again, I was wearing clothes with snot and slobber on them, no makeup, chapped lips, and dirty socks. But I was happy. WAS.

Back to the drawing board for breakfast tomorrow...



Sunday, October 21, 2012

Peanut Butter Banana Oatmeal Squares

Considering I hate bananas unless they are still in the peel and the peel is still green, I really stepped out of my shell to try this recipe but only because it had the ingredient that is probably the cause of some cellulite on my hiney.

PEANUT BUTTER.

I can tear up some peanut butter.

And I'm afraid that because of that fact, pigs have flown...

I am on a diet. Kinda. I get to blame the cholesterol (and my doctor for ruining my day with that news).

I haven't had a Dr. Pepper in two days!!! And I only had ONE mini snickers today!! I'm so proud of myself. But I've kind of had a few oreos. And a taquito. And a brownie cookie. Dang.

These sounded healthy so I tried them. They were SUPER easy to make and they smelled delicious going into the oven and coming out.

But alas, I was disappointed. They SMELL amazing but they lack flavor. Despite all the yummies that are in the recipe, they are kind of bland. Husband only took a few bites (I wish he would stop doing that and just man up and EAT IT!!) I love you honey.

I got one bite of un-mushed banana and it was revolting. This tasty sounding treat gets a 5 out of 10. So sad.


http://gingerbreadbagels.com/2011/03/22/peanut-butter-banana-oatmeal-squares/

Chicken Enchilada Roll-Ups

Based on the failure roll I've been on, I should have known these would turn out awful. Awful as in Husband only took a few bites. Ouch.

Plus, I think only a certified artist chef could recreate the look of these fella's. I did everything I was supposed to and as you'll see, mine look absolutely nothing like the original which makes me think these are a conspiracy. You know, one of those "Pinterest conspiracies" with the goal to keep the woman in the kitchen for long periods of time trying to perfect that recipe that the men know will not turn out. Maybe it's their excuse to get some baseball in in between those Lifetime movies.

If that's the case, then congratulations. You won. These sucked.


http://www.annies-eats.com/2010/02/04/chicken-enchilada-roll-ups/

Sunday, October 14, 2012

Avocado Chicken Parmigiano

Mmmmmmmmmm. First thing that came to mind when I saw the picture of this.

The best part about this dinner? The squash. You know, the squash you see in the background? It was the bomb.

But don't fret. The next best part? The rolls. Dang, the rolls were delicious.

The next best part? The oreos I had for dessert. I could put back some oreos.

And the water? Oh. Em. Gee. Best water ever.

The chicken? Sucked.

It all started with my getting really excited when I bought the meat masher to beat the crap out of the chicken. I've never done it before so I was really looking forward to it. Once I got the chicken between the saran wrap and started pounding, I started feeling kind of guilty. The more I pounded and saw chunks of chicken squishing out, the guiltier I felt. It's like I was saying "Oh little chicken! Dying wasn't enough for you?! Here, let me rub salt in the wound you little bawk bawk bawker!!"

I had my thin chicken now :( It was really starting to look good as I was putting it all together. The recipe says that once I bread it, to cook it on each side 4 minutes then cook about 7 minutes more and it's done. Really? I had to cook it about 20 minutes and by then the avocados were nice and toasty, and not in a good way.

The final verdict came when I took a bite and was completely underwhelmed. The chicken was bland and I guess the combo of flavors just didn't mix. I don't know. I LOVE avocado's and they were just plain nasty on this dish. I give it a 4 out of 10.

Me no likey.


Anyway...

Recipe Book

A week later, I have a recipe book! It surprised me how long it took me to make it my own. My goal was to find a cardboard binder I could cover with paper but I learned that cardboard binders aren't wide enough to house paper protectors. So I had to buy a regular binder and bust out my pretty pink X-acto knife and peel off all the plastic. THAT was an all day job.

Next, I picked out some pretty paper and spent HOURS modpodging. Is that a word? I thought it was coming along so good and when I looked at the final product I noticed that I glued the paper on the inside upside down. Sweet.

Regardless, I like it!





Sunday, October 7, 2012

Recipe Scrapbook

I saw a really cute idea about doing a cookbook in a binder. As of right now, I have a cute little recipe box and each time I find a new recipe, I write it by hand on the little card and stick it in the section it belongs.

BUT, since I've been trying so many new recipes lately, I have too many recipes to write down sooooo I thought I would give this recipe book thing a try and I FINALLY got a format down that I love! I will share it just in case anyone wants to go along with this genius idea.

And the good news is I've already done the hard part. It was ridiculously hard to make this format! Here is what it looks like...

So I am going to decorate a binder and be a little Martha Stewart! If you feel like jumping in the wagon, I will email you the format. Email ME at thepinningpirate@gmail.com and I will send it to you! HAPPY COOKING!!

The original idea...
http://furloughedtime.blogspot.com/2011/06/cookbook-scrapbook.html


Saturday, October 6, 2012

Hawaiin Sweet Roll Ham Sammies

This one looked easy and interesting so I tried it.

Let me warn you. These are good. These are very good. These are so good that you think you're eating a mini ham and cheese sandwich so you just keep eating the mini ham and cheese sandwiches but after a while, you realize "HOLY CRAP! I'VE JUST EATEN 12 ROLLS!!!"

800-651-6000 <----------- Weight Watchers.

These are perfect for game days, lunches, or get togethers but not for dinner unless you have 2 or so side dishes with it.

That's all the time I have folks, I have a cranky kid...


Yumm!!

http://beyerbeware.net/2011/04/hunk-of-meat-monday-game-time-favorites.html

Saturday, September 29, 2012

Double Dark Chocolate Shortbread Cookies

I decided to hop onto Thesaurus.com and look up synonyms for "disgusting".

-repulsive
-bothersome
-disturbing
-filled with loathing
-make one sick
-revolting

and my favorite...

- offend morals of.

These cookies offended me and my taste buds. You throw words like "double", "chocolate" and "cookies" together in one title and the unsuspecting consumer expects great things to happen in their mouth.

I don't even think my poop eating German Shepherd would eat these.

SOME of it might be my fault but not enough to "offend my morals". The recipe calls for dark cocoa powder and dark chocolate chips. Well, the store didn't have dark chocolate chips so I used semi-sweet and the only cocoa powder I had was probably regular old Hershey's cocoa? It's kind of been sitting in there for God knows how many years (yes, I just said years) so it might even be a knockoff brand. I didn't think this would be enough to ruin my day though. But these cookies ruined my day.

I followed the recipe and once I formed the dough into a "log", I have to admit that Husband and mine's (is that proper English??) maturity went out the window for a few minutes. Sometimes adults just need a good giggle and we sure did get one.

After we grew back up, we had to wait an hour for the dough to harden enough to slice into cookies. I'm just about speechless on this one. These cookies were so nasty. I would only recommend these for those people you secretly hate but have to be nice to for whatever reason.



If you are feeling evil...
http://theviewfromthegreatisland.blogspot.com/2011/12/double-dark-chocolate-shortbread.html

Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Creamy Crockpot Chicken and Brocolli

Another crockpot recipe for your viewing pleasure. This recipe can be described in a few words.

1. Easy
2. Delicious
3. LEFTOVERS

And by leftovers, I mean that there will probably be mold on them before you get to the bottom of the bowl.

There isn't much to say about this. It's really really good and super duper easy and I 100% recommend it!!



Voila.
http://picky-palate.com/2007/12/17/creamy-crockpot-chicken-and-broccoli/

Parmesan Honey Pork Roast

First thing's first. I hate pork roast. I've never liked it.

BUT...

I like parmesan, honey, soy sauce, and garlic AND Husband loves pork roast so I gave this recipe a shot.

Well, to be correct, I gave it two shots. First try, kind of ruined it. So let me begin.

When you mix everything to pour over the roast, the smell is like unicorns dancing in fields of rainbows and care bears. Top 5 best smells ever. I put the crockpot on low and waited and while I waited, my HOUSE smelled like unicorns dancing in fields of rainbows and care bears. After about 5 hours, it kind of started to smell like someone took a blowtorch to a unicorn. I checked on it only to find that half of my juice was now black from being burned and my roast was as dry and hard as a rock. I know that some ovens cook different but do crockpots cook different?! Didn't matter because it was too late. Not going to quit now.

To thicken the sauce, I had to pour it into a pan and add cornstarch and water. Sadly, my "juice" was like coal. It just kinda plopped into the pan and the cornstarch and water just emphasized how nasty it was. But again, I wasn't going to quit. Yet I could see the disappointment and curiousity in Husband's eyes. I sliced the pork, about broke the knife, and poured my coal on top.

I know I am loved. I know I am loved so much because even though it really did look and smell disgusting, Husband slowly opened his mouth and took a bite. I'm staring at him...

"Is it good honey?"

"Mmhmm."

The end.









Ok, not really because I tried this recipe again and NAILED IT!!! DEEEEEELICIOUS!!! This is a must for your weekly menu. Just keep an eye on the temp as it cooks or you will, and I repeat, you WILL ruin it. And if you have a husband anything like mine, hopefully they will eat it regardless.

And as usual, the original looks 10 times better than mine but I try.

Enjoy!!
http://www.sixsistersstuff.com/2011/12/slow-cooker-parmesan-honey-pork-roast.html

Saturday, September 15, 2012

Confetti Chicken Pasta


So I'm just going to skip all those other recipes I mentioned and skip right to tonights fiasco. Let's get something straight. I love carbs. I LOVE carbs. I would voluntarily live with Lucifer if I could eat carbs the rest of my life and not become morbidly obese. So needless to say, carbs don't scare me and you will NEVER hear me say "I'm on a diet so I tried a yummy new low fat, low carb, low sugar recipe!".

The only time I've gone on a semi diet was when I was pregnant and the doctor told me to eat eat eat and gain weight. So I skipped all the way home and enjoyed everything under the sun but at my next appointment she told me to put the fork down. Oops.

When I pictured myself cooking this dinner, I pictured it like in the movies. I was wearing a nice outfit, my hair was down and curled all pretty, I had a super cute apron on, there was soft jazz music in the background and I was enjoying a red glass of wine while Husband gently swayed to the music with me in between stirrings of the chicken.

In reality, I was in sweatpants that were drenched from baby's bath, a shirt that was covered in baby snot and smelled, hair that was washed two days ago and was ratty, football was blaring in the background, Husband kept stealing the water I was drinking out of a 3 year old mickey mouse glass and baby was slamming the cabinets open and close, bypassing the child safety locks that took hours to put on. Alas, this is my reality.

The recipe called for 16 oz. of penne pasta. I cooked it and drained it but by the time I was ready to use it, it looked like all the noodles had babies because I did NOT remember there being that much pasta!

Anyway, I cooked my chicken first like the recipe said. I was getting irritated at how long it was taking so I cranked it up to super high and shaved some time off which I would regret later. As soon as the chicken was done, I put it in the "big bowl" and there it sat. Next? Add the onions to saute. Little did my onions know that my pan was scorching hot because they almost immediately burned to death. The peppers survived ok and I forgot to thaw the brocolli before dumping it in the pan so I waited and waited and waited for the brocolli to cook. I did bide my time by playing Plague, Inc. and trying to kill all of humanity. Great app by the way.

After the veggies were done, they joined the chicken in the "big bowl" and there they sat. On to the next part. I learned a new word tonight. Roux. I still don't know what it is but I made it. Since my pan was still kinda hot from my impatience, the butter immediately burned on contact and that was a pleasant smell. But the flour and half and half did their job, I guess, and "roux" was made. Here is where things got kinda crappy...

By adding the noodles first, they were supposed to get smothered in this roux, but because I had enough noodles to feed 15 people, each noodle got jipped on the sauce and by the time I added my chicken and veggies, which were cold from just sitting there, there was no sauce to go around. So it was a dry and cold meal. I sure could have warmed it up if I wanted to but then I couldn't gripe.

Did I mention I forgot the asparagus and used ridiculously expired feta cheese?

The meal tasted good anyway. It would be a million times better with less pasta. I recommend it and the good news is even though the recipe says it will feed 4 people, it will actually feed 70.




Sunday, September 9, 2012

Keep Bananas From Going Bad

I saw this idea on Pinterest and was THRILLED because I only like bananas when they are still semi green. Once they're yellow, they're done for. And once they're brown...they get tossed into the street, waiting for the next mario cart to appear.

The idea is to separate all the bananas, not to leave them in a bunch, and they will stay fresh longer. I did this. What high expectations I had.

One in the fruit bowl.

One on top of the microwave.

One on top of the fridge.

One IN the fridge.

Anyone walking into my kitchen, seeing randomly placed bananas, would have thought I was ridiculously weird. I thought I was verging on being a hippy myself. But I will try anything for the sake of Pinterest.

THIS IS SUCH A WASTE OF TIME AND YOU JUST SEE RANDOM BROWN BANANAS!!!

Sausage and Cheese Muffins

As I was looking at the ingredients to see if this was a realistic recipe to make (remember now, I'm soooo tired by this point and I now have a walking child who is pulling on my leg the whole time I'm in the kitchen and I can only handle so much tugging and whining), I saw sour cream and didn't even finish reading the rest of the ingredients before adding these to my list. What a perfect weekend breakfast!!

You see, I make a casserole very similar so I thought...

- surely the sour cream will add some kind of fun adventure to my mouth!!
- being in muffin form will make it seem like we are at a luxury hotel with catered breakfast muffins!!

And as usual, none of the above came to fruition. I have an active imagination that disappoints me all the time.

Based on Husband's reaction, you would have thought they were some manna from the heavens of sausage land. I, on the other hand, thought they were ok. But I think I know why I thought they were so so. You see, when I was pregnant, I demanded McDonald's sausage breakfast burritos at LEAST every weekend and since the last part of my pregnancy was in the summer, almost every day just because I could. Plus I made my casserole so much that by the time these muffins came to life, I was over it.

So there are your two opinions to go off of. Choose wisely...




Upcoming...

Wow. HOLY hiatus!! I guess that's what happens when you have the summer off, actually have a life, then start back to school.

This might explain my hiatus...
1. Baby got tubes.
2. Baby got his vaccinations the Friday before school started and got sick.
3. Baby got sick but still had his FIRST BIRTHDAY PARTY that weekend!!
4. School started...

If you are a teacher, or know a teacher, then you realize that #4 says all that needs to be said about dropping off the face of the internet Earth.

Getting back into the swing of things zapped me!!! I had such high aspirations for my Pinterest food adventures but even though we had such an admirable 5 count dinner menu for the week, it ended up with Husband saying "What's for dinner tonight?" and he got one of two responses...

1. Whatever YOU'RE making <---------- nothing.
2. Taco Bell.

The process has been slow but I was able to knock off 7 recipes over the weeks.

1. Sausage, Egg, and Cheese muffins
2. Parmesan Honey Pork Roast
3. Creamy Crockpot Chicken and Brocolli
4. Best Burger Recipe You'll Ever Eat
5. Crockpot Hawaiin Barbecue Chicken
6. Mom's Cheesy Potatoes
7. Hawaiin Sweet Roll Ham Sandwiches

The real question is how many was I able to knock off SUCCESSFULLY!?

Thursday, August 9, 2012

Easiest Dinner Ever

Easiest dinner ever??

YES!!! And super delicious!! This recipe will find its way into my recipe box.

Once again, as with all the recipes I make with cream cheese, there was a severe lack of it in the recipe because I couldn't stop EATING it before it made its way into the crockpot. Regardless, there was a sufficient amount to drool over in the end.

Not much to say other than this should be on your menu soon!




Oh yeah!!!

Sunday, August 5, 2012

Refreshing Salad

What's so refreshing about this salad? (rhetorical question)

 I have one word for this salad.

Boring.




Regardless...
http://www.kalewithlove.com/2012/01/refreshing-salad.html

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Redo!!

If you've read my homemade gummy post, you'll know I was disheartened by the lack of volume of my gummies compared to the picture of the original. After a second try, the taste was 10 times better and I got the volume I wanted :)

First time around I used cherry jello and mixed fruit to go along with the mandatory apple sauce and apple juice. This time I used strawberry jello and peaches. Deeeeeelicious! I made them for my two nephews while we were on vacation and one of them liked them and the other one said "Eeeeeeeeeeeeww!! I don't LIKE it!". Well ok then.




And I sure did have to double the recipe to get that volume. I CALLED it!!


Roasted Parmesan Green Beans

If you've noticed, I've been on hiatus. Had a sick baby for a week, went out of town for a week, baby got sick again on the way home for a few days then I got sick for a few days. But the good news is, I have 4 recipes for you!!

I saw this recipe and thought it would be easy because it's similar to what I do with my asparagus (which deserves it's own post because EVERYONE loves my asparagus!!) and I like green beans and parmesan. With this, we had burgers on the menu so I got these started while Husband put the burgers on.

It basically went like this..

*BEEP*
pull them out
extreme disappointment because the presentation looks like crap
depressingly grab one to try
"DUUUUUUUDE!!! COME TRY ONE OF THESE!!!"
6-7 minutes later they are all gone and the burgers are still on the grill

So basically the green beans were the unintentional appetizer. And the best part? The burnt pieces!!! It was like savoring the burnt ends on a Cagle's steak. This recipe is a total TOTAL winner!! And it was so easy to do. This should go on your menu but double the recipe because we both were hankering for more.


As usual, the original recipe looks a million times better than mine :(


Give these a try!!


Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Featured on Pinstrosity

My first feature on this blog was my ginormous peanut butter graham cracker balls. You can see them here!!

Well, on the 4th of July I made those all too famous rice krispie treats (except I used "crisp rice") and they were by all means a beautiful disaster. I decided to submit them to Pinstrosity and they got featured! So you can check those out here!!

This blog is hilarious so if you ever try anything on Pinterest and it's a total flop, you should submit it to this blog and you might end up getting featured!!

Check out Pinstrosity :)

Monday, July 16, 2012

Jalapeno Creamed Corn

Straight from the prairie comes a wholesome, totally unhealthy side dish that is quoted as being "the only side dish you'll ever need". Where to begin with this one...

1. I love corn.
2. I love cream cheese.
3. I love butter.
4. I love jalapenos.
5. I love cheese.
6. I love to cook.
7. I love to eat. A lot.
8. But most of all, I love the commentary from the husband.

Husband gives this dish an 8 out of 10! WINNER!! This dish was so delicious I had to eat it with my eyes closed but then had to promptly open them because here comes baby trying to get a handful of his own. But there were things about the recipe that made no sense to me. It said the butter and cream cheese had to be room temperature. I understand this for stirring purposes but let's talk butter here. When you buy butter, it's cold. You keep it in the fridge so it's ALWAYS cold. So when the recipes calls for room temperature, that means I would have to take the butter out of the fridge and just wait. And wait. And wait. And wait. And wait.

But nooooooo, I can't melt it just to rush things along because that would be silly! Despite the fact that the butter will be melted two seconds after I stick the dish in the oven. Perhaps there is a reasoning here that I'm not seeing.

There are pro's and con's to this yummy side dish.

Pro's:
- delicious
- easy
- feeds a lot of people

Con's:
- it's SO creamy you can only eat a little bit but it's enough to satisfy that side dish desire
- because you can only eat so much, that leaves a lot left over


So you NEED to make this but I would say it's best for a bigger family, not just two people. We will be eating on this for a month. And if it's not moldy by the time school starts, I'll probably be taking it for lunch.






Be smart and try it out...