Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Featured on Pinstrosity

My first feature on this blog was my ginormous peanut butter graham cracker balls. You can see them here!!

Well, on the 4th of July I made those all too famous rice krispie treats (except I used "crisp rice") and they were by all means a beautiful disaster. I decided to submit them to Pinstrosity and they got featured! So you can check those out here!!

This blog is hilarious so if you ever try anything on Pinterest and it's a total flop, you should submit it to this blog and you might end up getting featured!!

Check out Pinstrosity :)

Monday, July 16, 2012

Jalapeno Creamed Corn

Straight from the prairie comes a wholesome, totally unhealthy side dish that is quoted as being "the only side dish you'll ever need". Where to begin with this one...

1. I love corn.
2. I love cream cheese.
3. I love butter.
4. I love jalapenos.
5. I love cheese.
6. I love to cook.
7. I love to eat. A lot.
8. But most of all, I love the commentary from the husband.

Husband gives this dish an 8 out of 10! WINNER!! This dish was so delicious I had to eat it with my eyes closed but then had to promptly open them because here comes baby trying to get a handful of his own. But there were things about the recipe that made no sense to me. It said the butter and cream cheese had to be room temperature. I understand this for stirring purposes but let's talk butter here. When you buy butter, it's cold. You keep it in the fridge so it's ALWAYS cold. So when the recipes calls for room temperature, that means I would have to take the butter out of the fridge and just wait. And wait. And wait. And wait. And wait.

But nooooooo, I can't melt it just to rush things along because that would be silly! Despite the fact that the butter will be melted two seconds after I stick the dish in the oven. Perhaps there is a reasoning here that I'm not seeing.

There are pro's and con's to this yummy side dish.

- delicious
- easy
- feeds a lot of people

- it's SO creamy you can only eat a little bit but it's enough to satisfy that side dish desire
- because you can only eat so much, that leaves a lot left over

So you NEED to make this but I would say it's best for a bigger family, not just two people. We will be eating on this for a month. And if it's not moldy by the time school starts, I'll probably be taking it for lunch.

Be smart and try it out...

Sunday, July 15, 2012

Peanut Butter and Chocolate Energy Bites


Yes, I've already made these but they were so good I had to make them again and this time, they come with a picture juuuuust so you can see how good I am at recreating an original piece of culinary art. But the sad fact is that a toddler could recreate these balls so anyway.

Seriously, this is one of the easiest recipes I've ever come across and the fact that they are a 10 out of 10 is kind of a "sealed for life" relationship between me and the peanut butter balls. The first time I made them, I used regular size chocolate chips and made the balls much bigger but you could only eat 1 or 2 at a time because they were so rich. Wish I was. Regardless, this time, I used those teeny, tiny, precious little chocolate chips and these were better for a few reasons...

1. They are cuter.
2. It is almost guaranteed that you will get a chocolate chip in EVERY bite (which is important).
3. You SEE more chocolate so you get more excited.

You can wipe out the smaller balls with 1, MAYBE 2 bites (if you're polite and eat like a prude) but usually one bite will do it. For some reason, this doesn't make them seem so rich so you can chow down and feel shame later. They're healthy though, I just remembered. So never mind about feeling shame.

These should be on your grocery list for next week. No joke. I'm serious. Fo' real.

Here you go!!

Stuffed Zucchini

I might, for once, actually have a winner on my hands. I've had nothing BUT winners before I started this blog so I think this thing has somehow jinxed me but I will overcome. I always do.

After looking at this picture I was foreseeing myself looking super talented in the kitchen area if I could just be able to recreate this, taste and look. While I was reading through how to fix it, she lost me at "aged cheese" and I threw up in my mouth a little. To me, aged cheese is MOLDY cheese so no thanks.

First off, I didn't use bacon because I only like bacon in full on bacon----->my mouth form. No other way. I also left out the curry. That is just about the foulest tasting and smelling thing on the Earth (aside from "aged cheese"). And did you know that spooning out the guts of a zucchini is not as easy as it looks or sounds? Oh no, that stuff ended up all over me, my baby and the kitchen. Gives new meaning to "fling".

Other than all the fun stuff above, the recipe is very easy and quick. I would recommend getting the fattest zucchini you can find because long and narrow didn't leave much room for stuffing. It was all pretty easy to throw together but instead of "aged cheese', I opted for monterrey jack and that turned out just fine. I tried to make mine LOOK better than hers by topping it off with parsley flakes of my own liking but hers still blows mine out of the water. I'm sure it tasted better too with her fancy bacon and curry. But you know what?

Mine was still good!! If the husband will eat it again, it's a winner.

Here is the link!

Saturday, July 14, 2012

Cinnamon Crescent Rolls

When I saw this pin, I thought about how anything with cinnamon sugar is what I would choose to have forever if I were deserted on an island with ONE food. I also love crescent rolls so I was so super excited for this recipe.

After ALL of us sleeping in (thank you baby), Husband said "you should go pop in those cinnamon rolls we have." but I very excitedly said "NO!!! I'M GOING TO MAKE THE CINNAMON CRESCENT ROLLS!!!!". Ok then. Here goes...

Before I made these, I predicted a few things just from my knowledge of butter, bread and just because I like to think I'm smart.

#1- the butter is going to go EVERYWHERE
#2- they will be mushy from sitting in the butter
#3- these are going to be freaking awesome
#4- if they end up ridiculous, I have cinnamon rolls as a back up

I must be half gypsy fortune teller because I got half of these right. Let me start at the beginning.

I followed the recipe verbatim, except that I didn't have a pan with sides. I made the butter mixture and lost about 1/8 of it to my mouth. Opened the rolls, spread the butter on them, rolled them up and popped them in the oven. I set the timer for 10 minutes and started to make the glaze. After adding the powdered sugar and vanilla to the butter, it just looked like dark butter so I was starting to foresee bad things happening. And by bad I had no idea what I was in for.

3 minutes left. It's time to check them. Open the oven door...


There's smoke everywhere! Butter EVERYWHERE!!! Bubbling, burning, smoking, dripping into crevices underneath the oven!! I was expecting a butter explosion with flames to my face any second! I went into panic mode and put another pan underneath that one but to no avail, it was far far too late. Why not let them cook for 3 more minutes? :)

I pulled them out when they were done...

Um, yeah. 3/4 of that brown stuff is in my oven.

I am NOT a quitter (unless it's P90X). I teach my students to NEVER GIVE UP no matter what. So I was NOT going to stop here! By golly, I had a glaze to put on. I thought maybe the glaze could salvage the look. Not so much.

Can I go hide in a corner??

That glaze is total bull. As you can see, it's NOT fancy and white. I was so disappointed but my disappointment deepened when I realized that my backup of cinnamon rolls wasn't going to happen because my oven was totally off limits thanks to the butter gnome. But we were hungry.

I'm NOT lovin' it.


Thursday, July 12, 2012

Taco Roll Ups

Disney family stuff is supposed to be good, wholesome, and HONEST, right? Well I'm here to tell you that Disney is dishonest. They are selling something that is not real. And in this case, I mean "selling" by showing you a DELICIOUS picture and then

I'm talking about the Disney Family Fun Magazine Taco Roll Ups! Look at the picture and you will see a fancy rolled up thing, cheese, beef, tomatoes, corn, rice AND cilantro. Now I blame Disney for half of this failure, and myself for the other half. Although to save face I'll just say it's all Disney's fault.

To start off with, I didn't realize as I looked at the ingredients I needed to buy that tomatoes, rice, cilantro and corn weren't on the inventory list. FIRST mistake for not noticing that. Then after I was done rolling them and cut them, they just looked like a fat, nasty burrito that had been hacked into two pieces. This entailed the SECOND mistake.

Mistake #1- If I had realized that half of what was in the picture wasn't on the ingredient list, I probably would have been too mad to even make the stupid things and boycotted Disney (except for Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and Little Einsteins on Disney Junior in the mornings). After ranting and raving about it to husband, he very nicely informed me that the tomatoes were more than likely part of the salsa. Ugh. Husband:1-Wife:0.

Mistake #2- When it was time to roll them up, I just plopped a heaping spoonful right down the middle and rolled up the thing like a burrito. I'm not always the sharpest knife in the block so it didn't occur to me to slather the mixture all over the tortilla and THEN roll it up, hence giving a nice roll up effect. My bad. It's still Disney's fault though.

To sum it up, the taste was beyond boring and it was boring to look at. I will not be making these again. Even WITH the corn, rice and cilantro! Take THAT Mickey Mouse!!


If you want to go against me, here you go...

Homemade Gummy Snacks

As an avid fan of Finding Nemo and Spiderman gummy snacks, I wanted to try this homemade version to see if they could compete. Well folks, Nemo has some competition now.

These were super duper easy to make and the flavor combinations are endless!! The only problem with the recipe is she says to use two envelopes of gelatin. Well "gelatin", or JELLOOOOOOO, comes in two sizes. tiny and jumbo. So which one to use, I struggled with this decision for about 2 minutes. I had tiny AND jumbo!! I didn't want to mess it up!! I opted for the tiny. You might say "ummmmm, it SAYS one envelope is 2 1/2 tsps!!". Yes. Yes it does, but the box says ounces, not teaspoons and I am not about to do that conversion in my head.

The recipe calls for fruit juice and mixed berries but it requires applesauce. So since the apple flavor was already in it, I used apple juice, frozen berry blend (strawberry, raspberry, blueberry) and cherry "gelatin". That seems like such a granny word to me. It was a fruit explosion in my mouth. The strawberries tasted like strawberries, the raspberries tasted like raspberries, THE SNOZBERRIES TASTED LIKE SNOZBERRIES!!

In the end, they held together well and were all jiggly like jello but not super firm like my Finding Nemo snacks. Husband gave one to baby and he just squished it in his hand. My final verdict is that I WILL make these again, I will probably just use more closely related flavors. Let me think of some combinations that go good with apple...

1. Cherry jello with cherries and apple juice
2. Strawberry jello with strawberries, apple juice and maybe PEACHES!! Oh em gee.
3. Ok, too much thinking but you get the idea.

My only gripe is that in the original picture, the gummies look so thick and enticing but I used an 8x8 pan like she said and mine were not anywhere NEAR that thick and decadent. So I think she doubled the recipe for effect and didn't tell anybody. So deceitful.

Regardless, mine are pretty, right?!

Whatever                                                                                  Mine look better!!

Here is the link!

Tin Foil Celery

All you celery junkies out there, REJOICE!!! It's possible to stretch that 89 cent celery stalk to its full life potential! I was skeptical with this Pinterest idea of wrapping celery in aluminum foil. I mean, who got bored enough to come up with this? Obviously, a genius.

So since I'm a genius myself, I tried it and three weeks later, my celery is still kicking (and growing leaves?!) so this was a WIN! FINALLY! Go me :)

Here is the link!!

Tuesday, July 10, 2012


You can look forward to these yummy adventures soon!!

Homemade Gummy Fruit Snacks
Jalapeno Creamed Corn
Crescent Cinnamon Rolls
Taco Roll Ups
Stuffed Zucchini

Monday, July 9, 2012

Crockpot Chicken Fajitas

Fajitas? Delicious. Crockpot? Easy. When I chose this recipe, I thought it was a winner. And I win a lot when it comes to new recipes. Basically, I'm a winner! And there are days where I live in a fantasy world and I think I'm superwoman. I mean, I teach all day, come home and play house, play with baby, cook dinner, get baby ready for bed and there is nothing that can stop me. EXCEPT....

The pukies. The pukies are my kryptonite. The night this dinner was on the menu, I was dysfunctional. Granted, this is summer and I hadn't taught all day, I had puked all day so I was tired, k? That meant husband had to cook dinner AND take care of me AND take care of baby. With that being said, there was only so much time and effort that could be put towards dinner.

They started out looking good enough, with the bright colors of the peppers and the onion. To a normal nose, I'm sure it smelled delicious but to my nose, it smelled like dog poo. Some fresh air cured that until I had to come back inside to throw up.

So in order to make these fajitas delicious for the husband to enjoy, we needed tortillas, sour cream, guacamole and cheese. Mmmmmmmmmmm, sounds delicious.

1. Husband accidentally threw away the tortillas in a fit of fridge cleaning madness the day before.
2. The cheese didn't get grated.
3. The guacamole didn't get made.
4. The sour cream didn't get used.

What the heck kind of dinner IS this?!?! Well, husband said it was good but would have been better with tortillas, sour cream, guacamole and cheese. Basically all the ingredients that actually make a fajita good. Were they good? I don't know. What did they look like in the end? I don't know. Should you try this recipe? I don't know.

i'll never know...

But just in case you're curious...

Saturday, July 7, 2012

Chicken Artichoke Lasagna

Last night started out like any other. Husband came home, baby was in a good mood and it was time for mommy to cook dinner. I bought all the ingredients for this recipe last grocery trip but apparently things seem to get used before they make it to their true destination. But regardless, this chicken artichoke lasagna was ON THE MENU! Bring it.

I love foreshadowing so I will do a little foreshadowing for you. I was giving baby a bath while husband was eating. I asked husband how it tasted and he said 'I took one bite and that was it.". Oh.

1. It helps to have all the ingredients.
2. It helps to buy the RIGHT ingredients.
3. It helps to include all the ingredients you DO have :)

Let me explain why this dish that originally looked so tasty was a complete disaster.

I didn't have milk, or mozzarella cheese so that caused a problem. I used what little monterrey jack I had but that didn't cut it.  I saw the price of the "sun dried tomatoes packed in oil" and thought "psh, yeah right, I'll just get these dried sun dried tomatoes for half the price and feel like a bargain shopper." Mistake. BIG mistake. Sooooooo...

1. I didn't use milk.
2. I used the wrong cheese and not enough cheese.
3. I used a third of the tomatoes called for because trying to cut those hard suckers was impossible so I gave up.
4. I totally forgot the basil.
5. My finished product looked and tasted like crap.

My bad, husband, my bad

I'm so embarrassed.

If you don't want to take my word for it, try it yourself...

Thursday, July 5, 2012

Welcome aboard mateys

After trying about 30 Pinterest recipes, I decided I needed a place to share my results so others can either avoid or try these tasteless or tasteful dishes!! Although Pinterest has more cute crafts that I would like to do over recipes, having a baby doesn't allow much time for crafty stuff but I HAVE to cook so alas, my Pinterest cooking blog. ENJOY!!