Saturday, September 15, 2012

Confetti Chicken Pasta

So I'm just going to skip all those other recipes I mentioned and skip right to tonights fiasco. Let's get something straight. I love carbs. I LOVE carbs. I would voluntarily live with Lucifer if I could eat carbs the rest of my life and not become morbidly obese. So needless to say, carbs don't scare me and you will NEVER hear me say "I'm on a diet so I tried a yummy new low fat, low carb, low sugar recipe!".

The only time I've gone on a semi diet was when I was pregnant and the doctor told me to eat eat eat and gain weight. So I skipped all the way home and enjoyed everything under the sun but at my next appointment she told me to put the fork down. Oops.

When I pictured myself cooking this dinner, I pictured it like in the movies. I was wearing a nice outfit, my hair was down and curled all pretty, I had a super cute apron on, there was soft jazz music in the background and I was enjoying a red glass of wine while Husband gently swayed to the music with me in between stirrings of the chicken.

In reality, I was in sweatpants that were drenched from baby's bath, a shirt that was covered in baby snot and smelled, hair that was washed two days ago and was ratty, football was blaring in the background, Husband kept stealing the water I was drinking out of a 3 year old mickey mouse glass and baby was slamming the cabinets open and close, bypassing the child safety locks that took hours to put on. Alas, this is my reality.

The recipe called for 16 oz. of penne pasta. I cooked it and drained it but by the time I was ready to use it, it looked like all the noodles had babies because I did NOT remember there being that much pasta!

Anyway, I cooked my chicken first like the recipe said. I was getting irritated at how long it was taking so I cranked it up to super high and shaved some time off which I would regret later. As soon as the chicken was done, I put it in the "big bowl" and there it sat. Next? Add the onions to saute. Little did my onions know that my pan was scorching hot because they almost immediately burned to death. The peppers survived ok and I forgot to thaw the brocolli before dumping it in the pan so I waited and waited and waited for the brocolli to cook. I did bide my time by playing Plague, Inc. and trying to kill all of humanity. Great app by the way.

After the veggies were done, they joined the chicken in the "big bowl" and there they sat. On to the next part. I learned a new word tonight. Roux. I still don't know what it is but I made it. Since my pan was still kinda hot from my impatience, the butter immediately burned on contact and that was a pleasant smell. But the flour and half and half did their job, I guess, and "roux" was made. Here is where things got kinda crappy...

By adding the noodles first, they were supposed to get smothered in this roux, but because I had enough noodles to feed 15 people, each noodle got jipped on the sauce and by the time I added my chicken and veggies, which were cold from just sitting there, there was no sauce to go around. So it was a dry and cold meal. I sure could have warmed it up if I wanted to but then I couldn't gripe.

Did I mention I forgot the asparagus and used ridiculously expired feta cheese?

The meal tasted good anyway. It would be a million times better with less pasta. I recommend it and the good news is even though the recipe says it will feed 4 people, it will actually feed 70.


  1. Your cooking posts crack me up. Do you ever follow recipes to a "T"?

  2. I try, I swear! But somewhere throughout the week, things go missing and I guess expire and well, stuff just happens :)