Dear lord. Where to begin with this one?
I guess I could start with the fact that I amazed myself by thinking that I could actually pull this one off. I have been very confident with my cooking lately. Although I have been counting calories and reducing sweets dramatically, I really needed to try something new.
I'm glad I had a measurement converter on my ipad because this recipe uses grams. I translated the amount as best as possible but that didn't matter because I had to blow up the proportions to get even remotely close to what things were supposed to look like.
I'll start with the egg whites and fine sugar. First, I am totally assuming that "fine sugar" is powdered sugar because I didn't see "fine sugar" at the store. Now, I translated 70 grams into a little less than 1/3 of a cup. While whipping the egg whites and sugar, I was supposed to have "firm peaks". So I guess I was supposed to have the Rocky Mountains and I ended up with a Louisiana bayou.
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| Nothing firm about that. |
I proceeded to the egg yolk mixture and quite frankly, got confused with having to "fold" the yolk mixture UNDER the egg white mixture. ?????? I just dumped it in.
Next I had to add the flour and gently fold it in. Once again, there was absolutely nothing to fold. The recipe called for 70 grams of flour (1/3 c.). I was supposed to have DOUGH. I did not have dough. I dumped in another 1/3 c. and still didn't have dough. Another 1/3 c. later and I kind of have dough! HOLLA!
I followed the next few steps and colored some of the dough, buttered the wax paper down, and started the chevron pattern. In the beginning, it said to print out a pattern to put under the wax paper. As a design major, I got conceded and didn't think I needed a picture underneath to do a chevron pattern. Hellooooooooooo, it's SQUIGGLES for goodness sake! My chevron was horrible. The further down I got, the further away from looking like the first line it got. I learned a lesson here.
But I continued on as I always do! After cooking the chevron for 2 minutes and letting it cool, I poured the remainder of the dough on top and cooked it. It didn't turn out too bad!
The next part involved very confusing directions with more wax paper, cutting boards, sugar, I had to read it over and over to get it. My next step was to roll it while it was still warm but I think I took too long messing with the cutting board flipping, sugar and wax paper because my rolling didn't go so great. I'm pretty sure the directions should have said to roll IMMEDIATELY for fear of imminent roll destruction. You will see what I mean here in a little bit.
On to the mixture I was going to be putting inside...
In the original picture, it looks like whip cream!! Even though the recipe said "heavy whipping cream", I still had whip cream in my head. At the grocery store, I knew I had to get heavy whipping cream, so what did I do? Go to the whip cream section and try to find a container that says HEAVY. I didn't find one so I just got regular whip cream and hoped it would work. It was only when I got home that I realized I was an idiot.
I had to find out how to make homemade whipping cream. What I found called for 3/4 cup of milk and 1/3 cup of butter and so that's what I did. It was ugly yellow though and the original picture showed such pretty white!! I heated my nasty whipping cream, added the white chocolate and was supposed to whip it until it had the consistency of cream cheese. In order to semi get there, I had to add twice the chocolate that was called for. Oh the calories that were coming.
When I poured it on the roll, I was so disappointed that it looked nothing like the picture and in fact resembled something rather unpleasant. Snot. I'll go with snot on this one.
I plopped the strawberries on.
Rolled it up.
Took a picture :/
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It kind of looks like an extremely happy crepe.
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This is what it was SUPPOSED to look like...
